what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
