In America we eat man semen.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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