Im at strip club and am horny
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
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