This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Randomize
