remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
