I only kidnapped one of them. chill
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
