You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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