I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
