Your dad touched me again.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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