Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
