I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
ttyl tear gas
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
