sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
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