It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I just blew my weed a kiss
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
