I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
