You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
