bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
