Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
