I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
