whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
