I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
smell my finger.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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