idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
