So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
