Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
