Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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