It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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