I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
