if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Randomize
