This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
