Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize