I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
It's rum buckets o'clock
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize
