Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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