I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Do vagina's smell?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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