he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
false alarm. still invincible.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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