So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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