i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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