I want to make a zoo with you.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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