Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
someone owes me an orgasm
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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