But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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