Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
