so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
