I just saw a hot homeless man
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
