Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
