By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
