no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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