xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Randomize
