What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
