So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i think i have herpe
just one?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
