marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize