god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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