How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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