Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
