mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
