So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Randomize
