i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
