when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
