do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
