Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
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