If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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