do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
