At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize