Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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