I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
